Weekend of Renewal

My friends and readers of any of my blogs know my life has been almost non-stop drama since Thanksgiving. The past two weeks, I have really been struggling; both emotionally and physically. My fibro pain feels worse than normal, no doubt a response to the stress. I will admit, I've had a lousy attitude lately. I have really been feeling that I need a vacation. I don't have one planned, in fact, all vacation plans for the year are kind of hold because my Grandmother is so bad. I haven't wanted to plan a vacation and book everything, and then have to make an emergency trip to NY for her funeral.

I decided on Friday that I was going to spend this weekend relaxing. I was going to put aside the to-do list, and focus on things that make me feel better. I know when my fibro is acting up, I need to try to get more sleep. So I'm going to try to go to bed earlier. I keep forgetting if I'm watching something on TV downstairs, that I could just as easily watch it from my bedroom. I thought I should probably start using my glider, maybe a little exercise would give me more energy. I say I thought about doing it, because the glider remains folded up against the wall of my bedroom.

Yesterday was kind of a day of pampering. I had a hair appointment in the morning. What is it about sitting in a salon getting our hair cut which makes us pour out our souls? I am convinced hair dressers make wonderful therapists. Mine is no different. At the end of my appointment, he gave me a great big hug. I will have to make him some cookies before my next visit. After my hair appointment, Erich and I stopped at a little specialty market we enjoy. I bought some triple chocolate cake. I know- not the healthiest option. I figured it's ok, I haven't had much of an appetite lately. I've been doing a good job of trying to eat well, I'm just not eating much. So a few bites of triple chocolate cake isn't going to send me into calorie overload. I also bought a dozen roses for myself. Not my usual pink roses. I chose white roses that have a dark pink edge to them. They almost look like a peppermint candy- they were different. Then I had a massage, which helped relieve some of the pain. I came home and watched some college hockey (Notre Dame vs Ohio State, but ND lost). Then I fell asleep on the couch with the dogs and ended up taking a two hour nap.

Last night I spent time working on my ancestry. I actually made a break-through, which was wonderful. It seems each branch of the family has several men who died very young. Their widows remarried (as was custom in the 1800's or early 1900's), and I've been unable to trace back any further. I have this problem on the Primeau side, I only know back to my great-grandpa Primeau. On my mother's side, I knew my great-great Grandpa Yerke had died a young man, his wife remarried, and the four children were 'farmed out' to friends and family. But I didn't know anything more about her. I keep asking questions, and digging, and finally, last night, I found out when she was born and died, her second husband's last name (Mom and Aunt Arlene had told me it was either Jacobson or Jacobs), AND her parents' names. I felt like doing cartwheels! I have been trying to get through that road block for years. It was an incredible feeling.

Today I slept until about 11am. Not really that uncommon for me on the weekends. I tend to let my body sleep as long as it needs. Then I read the newspaper, which takes about an hour. I played around for a little bit, and then got ready and went shopping. I asked Erich if he wanted to come, and he wanted to know what I was going shopping for. I told him 'retail therapy' and he said 'no thanks'. Just as well. I put in my ALABAMA Songs of Inspiration CD, which is mostly hymns. ALABAMA is my favorite band, and I find this CD very soothing and comforting. Erich and I don't agree on issues of religion, so I could not have done that if he were in the car.

First I went to Elder Beerman. You can get some great sales at that store. I also love our Elder Beerman because even though it's in a mall that was probably built in the 1970s or so, the doors to Elder Beerman are huge. I think each door is 10' tall. They have this art-deco look to them, and I always feel like I'm walking into the 1920s. I walked through the women's department, but didn't really find anything. The winter stuff had been pretty well picked over, and the spring stuff wasn't yet on sale. I found this beautiful purple spring jacket, and will keep watching the ad to see when it goes on sale. Not that I need another jacket, but I promised myself I'd donate some of my older ones to make room for this one. I wandered into the housewares section, and hit the jackpot! They had place mats and table linens on clearance. I have a weakness for pretty table linens. I almost bought some nice fall color ones to replace the cheap ones I am currently using on the dining room table. I decided not to get those, because I'm pretty sure I have some in my hope chest. However, I found this really neat place mats for 4th of July. They are red woven place mats with white and blue fire works embroidered onto them. Very classy and festive. Each was regularly $10, and with all the discounts and my bonus coupon, I paid $2.38 each. What a deal! Then I found cute Easter place mats. The ones I really liked had polka dots and ruffles, but the pinks, greens, blues, and purples didn't go with my orange and red and yellow dining room. I looked some more, and found oval place mats, which look like an egg, but had a chick or a bunny on them. They were more muted colors, it was the shape that spoke Easter. I wasn't sure they were on sale, but they were 60% off! I was so happy!

My next stop was Kohls. I really didn't have anything specific in mind, but I had a coupon for 15% off all sale prices. My one thought was I didn't want to buy things for the kids. That doesn't make me a bad aunt. It just shows I have some willpower! I wandered around the store, and at first found only a long sleeve top and a sweater. As I wandered I remembered I wanted to look for something to wear for the funeral. Some people might see that as morbid. I see it as being prepared. I am able to handle things much better if I am prepared. While I have a lot of clothes, I don't have a lot of black. I have black pants and skirts, but not many tops. So I went through the 'dressy' clothes section. I found a couple of cardigans and a jacket, and then did something I rarely do in the store- I went into the fitting room. I tried on the various tops, and decided on the jacket. It is black, with a jacquard print, so it's black on black. It is dressy and versatile, if it's really cold I can put a turtleneck under it, if it's a little warmer I can go with a lacey short sleeve top or a dressy tank. It will look nice with pants or a skirt (if the funeral is in winter, I'm likely to wear pants because Grandma's church is on the top of a mountain and it's cold there in July!). The best thing is this is a piece I will wear for other things- such as conferences for work. It even looked great with my jeans, so I can wear it if I go out or something. The one sweater was this little fashionable thing that I knew I wouldn't ever wear again. I can't explain how much better I feel knowing I have this minor detail taken care of. I know now I can handle what will come.

I circled through the store again, and hit the clearance racks. I found two nice winter sweaters on clearance for $10 each. They were $50 sweaters, so that was a deal I couldn't pass up. All total, I bought myself two tops, three sweaters, and the jacket. I saved $157, which was almost twice what I spent. I love those trips!

The final stop on my retail therapy tour was Target. I bought some mundane stuff like shampoo, allergy medication, and pillows for my bed. I went through the media section, and book titles were jumping out at me. I remembered my friend Patricia mentioning these titles, so I bought them. I certainly didn't need any more books, I have plenty that I own and haven't read. I also bought myself two CD's- Brooks & Dunn's greatest hits and the 'Greatest Southern Country songs'. This one contained songs I heard a lot as a kid listening to country music. It was a comfort thing.

When I came out of Target, I was a little hungry, and decided I didn't feel like cooking. So I went to Applebees, ordered takeout, and brought dinner home for Erich and I. I didn't really get anything done around the house this weekend, but I can tell you I am in such a better place than I was on Friday. I don't feel like the Universe is using me as its' personal punching bag. I know things are stressful, but I feel like I can manage.