The Conversation

I had a great dream last night. Well, it was really this morning. The best part was I didn't have to wake up to an alarm, so I could finish the dream.

I dreamt I was having a get together with family and friends at my parents' house. Some of my bear friends were there, although oddly, not the ones I am in contact with every day. My parents were there, and my Grandma and Grandpa Wager. Grandpa Wager has been gone for 11 years, Grandma for 2 1/2. In my dream, I knew that they were both deceased. They were both there, vibrant and as I like to remember them: Grandma with her Betty White blond hair, Grandpa able to chat with everyone just as he did before Parkinson's destroyed him.

It was so incredible to see my beloved Grandma and Grandpa. In my dream, there were other bear buddies on the phone, and I was being interviewed for a bear friends publication. (My dreams never make a lot of sense if you examine them in real life.) Someone asked me how old I was, and before I could say I would be 35 in June, Grandma spoke up and said I was 40. I laughed in the dream. Grandma always had a heck of a time keeping track of ages. Grandpa always told the story of when they went to get their marriage license. The Minister, who was the pastor of Grandma's church, asked them how old they were. Grandpa replied that he was 22. Grandma said she was also 22. Grandpa told her that she wasn't. Then she went the other direction, and said she was 18 or 19. The Minister was certain she was older than that. Finally, they figured out she was 20. She was born in October, 1917. Grandma and Grandpa were married in May, 1938. She wouldn't be 21 until October.

Every year, when she called on our birthdays, she had to think through it to figure out how old we were. "1976.. so today you are 30". When you called her on her birthday, she had to do the same. 'I'm 79 today!' No, Gram, you're 80. So the fact that my Grandma didn't know how old I was in my dream was hysterical, and very Grandma like.

My grandparents didn't say a lot in my dream. At least not to me. They socialized with my friends. The person interviewing me asked if I were to leave my job and go back to school, what would I study? I answered 'law'. Grandpa spoke up at that point and said 'Girlie, follow your heart. You would study military history, and the Civil War'. Grandpa then went on to tell me that I need to get to see all the battle fields. He told me 'you want to do it, so go do it.' Then he started talking about some of the battles.

Shortly after this, the party in my dream disbursed. I woke up. I wasn't sad that they weren't here, because even in my dream I knew they were deceased. I have heard before that if a deceased loved one appears in your dream, and that they are talking to you, it is them coming to you. I've had this experience many times in the past- when Sydney and Drew were born, before I got home to see them, Grandpa came to me in a dream and told me 'She's gorgeous' and 'we've got a boy. And he's so handsome!' I take peace in these moments. The day felt special, even though it was just another Saturday. I feel closer to them, I don't miss them as much today. It was wonderful.

The Serious Question

In the middle of the night last night, I remembered one more Sydney gem. It's a bit of a puzzle. After a couple of days here, Sydney turned to my mom one day and said "MeMe, I need to talk to you." Mom said "Okay". Sydney motioned with her finger for mom to follow her, and she said "This is Important. I need to talk to you in the other room." The two of them walked into the other room, and you couldn't hear what Sydney was saying. But you could hear what my mom was saying, "No." Sydney of course, asked why not, and mom explained her answer.

When Mom came back in the room, we all looked at her, puzzled. She said Sydney asked if she could have fake nails. Fake nails! She's 4 and a half years old! This is not something you expect a four and a half year old to ask. Sydney is very determined, and she continued to ask. Not at that moment. But later in the day, she asked again. The next day she asked a few times, and the next day. Mom said she even asked when they got back to NY and were at my sister's house. Each time, she did the same thing 'MeMe, I need to talk to you in the other room'. Mom told her she was too young, fake nails would ruin her real nails, they weren't healthy, she tried all arguments. Sydney persisted. Mom said the last time Sydney asked (at her own house), Mom told her to talk to her mother.

We can't figure out why all of a sudden this came up. I thought perhaps one of her little friends has them. My sister called from Dallas today, she was killing time in the airport while waiting for her return flight home. I asked her about the fake nails, and she said she didn't think any of Syd's friends had them. She said Syd mentioned it to her one day, and my sister told her no. My sister used to have fake nails, but she hasn't had them in close to 10 years. If not over 10 years. So Sydney has never seen my sister with fake nails. My sister said the same thing my mom said 'Absolutely not'. I'm pretty sure that's what my brother in law will say too. He didn't say yes to getting her ears pierced until a year ago. Even that took a lot of convincing.

Of course, it makes me wonder- what kinds of parents are saying yes to four year olds getting fake nails?

Precious Gems

I had a wonderful time when my parents were here. Being with Sydney 24/7 was tiring, but it was so much fun. I laughed more than I laughed in years, and at least when I went to bed at night, I fell asleep. She was a wonderful cure for insomnia. Each day was filled with fun and little gems of Sydneyisms.

When she took her baths, she wanted a mesh puff like I have. I had an extra one, so I let her use it. She got it all sudsy, and started scrubbing. Of course, she doesn't start scrubbing until she has played for about 10 or 15 minutes. Then she reluctantly gets to the business of the bath. She stood in the tub, scrubbing herself, and she put the puff under one arm and stood there. I asked her what she was doing, and she said 'This is an area that gets very stinky. You have to leave the sponge here for about five minutes so it gets very clean.' When she felt five minutes had passed (it was really only one), she switched arms and did it again. You can't argue with logic like that!

Monday we stopped at Bob Evans for dinner after the zoo. We were all too tired from walking around the zoo to come home and think of making dinner. Bob Evans has Kraft Macaroni & Cheese on the menu for kids. Of course, Sydney ordered mac & cheese. When it came, she knew it was Kraft. She told us 'this is the kind Mommy makes' (yes, her mother and I are blue box kids. We never cared for homemade. I still don't.) Yet as she ate, she declared it was even better than her Mommy makes. When she finished all of it, she tapped me on the shoulder and said 'Are we allowed to lick our plates here?' Once again, I found myself trying to stay composed as I told her 'no'. The restaurant wasn't packed, but I didn't think it was wise for her to lick her plate.

Sydney is fascinated with bathrooms. Not quite as bad as her mother was, but she is her mother's daughter. My sister has always been fascinated with bathrooms. If we went visiting with my grandparents, before long Laura would ask our host or hostess 'where is the bathroom?' and they would tell her. Laura would turn to me and say 'come with me, sissy'. And we'd go explore the bathroom. She would stand in there and say 'wow. why would they choose that color?' She didn't go through their medicine cabinets (although maybe she does now that she can reach them). She only went to the bathroom because she had nose trouble. Stores, restaurants, private houses. It didn't matter. In Junior High, Laura's class took a trip to NYC. On the way home they had mechanical troubles with the bus, and ended up at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel. My sister came home telling us that the toilet seats revolved into the wall at the Waldorf. That was her big excitement!

And so, Sydney is her mother's daughter. She found it very intriguing that I have two bathrooms in the house. Technically, it's one and a half, but she considered it two. She didn't freak out at the permanent state of renovation in the upstairs bath. She kept asking 'why do you have two pottys?' Her house, and my mom's house, only has one. When we went shopping, she had to check out the bathrooms. She usually commented on the decor. At the bathrooms in the outlets, she said 'wow! This is nice!' She thinks family restrooms are the most interesting, and wants to go in them. I hate to tie up a family restroom if I'm with her and we can use the ladies' room. I kept explaining to her that there may be a little girl with her daddy or grandpa, or a little boy with his mommy or grandma who might need it. She did look in a couple of them to satisfy her curiosity.

Sydney was a great helper around the house. At home, her chore is to feed the puppies. So she did that here. Except her puppies have smaller food bowls and she fills them up full. I had to explain to her that my puppies were on a diet, and didn't need as much food. Every morning when she came downstairs, she checked their bowls. If they were empty, she put more food in them. She checked the bowls a couple of times a day too. She refilled their water bowls. She saw us feeding the wild birds outside, so she started helping with that. She especially enjoyed putting peanuts out for the squirrels, and then sitting in the dining room watching the squirrels come up to get the peanuts.

She loves to help you cook. If Mom or I were cooking, she stood on her little stool to help. The night we made pizza, she wanted to stir the dough. She stirred and stirred, and then mom helped her a little. One night we made cupcakes. She made cherry cupcakes. She mixed the batter, and then helped mom pour it into the cupcake papers. Mom had bought special papers, so we had very fancy cupcakes. When it was time to decorate them, I did the frosting and she put on all the pretty decorations. She made each of us a cupcake. Erich was at school that night, so she took his and put it on a separate plate and left it on the counter. Then she made him a 'card'. She drew him a picture, in black because that's his favorite color she said. Then she wanted to know how to spell his name- first and last. So she wrote his name, and then wrote 'I love you' but love was a heart. Then she wrote her own name on the card. She put it in an envelope, wrote his name on the outside, and left it next to his cupcake. He came home from school and saw it. When he opened the card he thought it was adorable. He had been warming up to her, but that cupcake sealed it. She had him wrapped around a finger.

The next couple of days he played with her while I was busy, they watched a movie together, he took her out to feed the birds, and walked her around the house to see the flowers. We went out to dinner one night and Erich sat next to her and entertained her the whole evening. Mom and Dad and I were grateful for a little break. Then they colored Easter eggs together. The day they left, he came downstairs as they were driving down the road, and I think he was genuinely disappointed that he had missed them. He was incredible with Sydney. It was so nice. He doesn't like kids, but you wouldn't have known it watching him with her.

We didn't get to make brownies or chocolate chip cookies. There just wasn't enough time, or enough energy. But we'll have that do to another time. Sydney told me she's coming back again soon. I don't know what soon means. Next time I will make sure to take a day or two off after they leave for my recovery. She wore me out. I don't know how my sister manages with work, a house, a husband, school, two dogs, Sydney and an eight month old. I love her dearly, but she has no off switch. Erich said it's like she has the opposite of ADD. When she plays, she gets incredibly focused on what she is playing. She can play the same thing over and over for hours. Her attention span is not like regular four year olds.

I learned some things from her. I learned laughter is the best medicine. An active four and half year old is the best cure for insomnia. Playing with her I learned how much of my imagination I have lost by this point in my life. That was sad. I used to be able to create and play and imagine just like she does. I have a new respect for my sister, and even my mom- who manages to keep up with her pretty well. But most importantly- I learned I have made the right decision to be an Aunt, not a Mommy. Some people thought I'd walk away from this adventure hearing that biological clock tick. NOPE! Some women are meant to be Aunts. I know, without a doubt, that I am one of them. And I am perfectly content as her Aunt.

Why In The World

Sydney's new thing (or at least it was new since I saw her in February) is to ask 'Why in the world...' if she can't fathom something. For instance, there was a stray cat in the backyard one evening that the beagles chased off from the patio. When they came inside, I praised them both. Sydney wanted to know why I was saying 'Good Girl, Good Boy' and I told her 'they chased off a cat. I don't like cats'. So she praised them as well.

She then told me she doesn't like cats. She said 'Why in the world would anyone like cats?' When she says 'why in the world' she rolls her eyes. Like this is so ridiculous it just doesn't make any sense at all. I told her 'MeMe likes cats'. So at breakfast the next morning she asked my mom, "MeMe, why in the world do you like cats?" Again, complete with the eye roll. My mom told her that on the farm my grandparents used to have, there were mice, and Mom had cats to get rid of the mice. Sydney accepted this. Until we told her that MeMe used to dress up her cats like babydolls and push them in the stroller. Sydney found this absolutely absurd, and said 'why in the world would you do that?'

I lost count of how many times she said 'Why in the world...' or all the circumstances she said it in. It was hilarious. Especially to watch her little blue eyes roll. It is this exasperated roll. Something you'd expect out of a 14 year old, not a 4 year old! Oh, I'm sorry. 4 and a HALF. She was quick to remind me when I said she was 4, that she was not! She was four and a HALF! She has so much personality, and she's so much more mature than her age. It's so easy to forget you're dealing with a child.

Sometimes, her attitude gets a little smart, and she ventures into Brat territory. And when that happens, she gets scolded. Yes, as adorable as she is, sometimes she was a brat, and I had to scold her. But most of the time, she's such a delight to be around and just leaves you in stitches.

Food Critic

One afternoon when my folks and Sydney were visiting, we turned on the Food Network. Sydney loves to watch cooking shows (her favorite is Rachael Ray). It was a rainy afternoon, and we were just hanging out at home before going out to dinner that night. The show that was on was 'Cooking For Real' with Sunny Anderson. She isn't one of our favorite chefs, but it was one of the things on in the middle of the afternoon that we knew was okay for Sydney to watch.

Sydney started with 'what's she making?' We told her we weren't sure yet, so she sat down on the couch to watch with Mom & I. Sunny was making a chocolate chip butterscotch pie. It looked like an icebox pie. She was using marscapone cheese, so it would have been kind of like a cheesecake. We were all interested in this. When it came time to put the chocolate chips in, she opened a bag of mini chips and threw in just a handful.

Mom and I looked at each other, and we were both thinking the same thing 'That's all the chocolate chips she's going to use?' Before we could say anything, Sydney cried out 'That's it? That's all the chocolate chips she's using? What is she thinking!' Sydney got up and walked around the living room, gesturing wildly and muttering to herself. 'She should have used that whole bag! That's not enough chocolate for that big pie! If you're going to use chocolate chips, use the whole bag. We want to be able to taste it!' She kept going on and on. My mother and I were laughing so hard we were crying. Dad was in the dining room, and he came in to ask what was the matter. Sydney told him 'she didn't use enough chocolate chips!' and off she went again.

It would have been very funny if this were the end of it. All night long, she'd think of that pie and go off on a rant. The whole time, she's moving her hands, wagging her finger at the TV. The next day we turned on the TV around the same time, and of course, the same chef was on. Sydney went off again: "I hope she doesn't make that pie again!" The very mention of that pie sent her off for quite a few minutes, and Mom and I just laughed. Even if I wanted to make the pie, I couldn't now. I wouldn't get past the chocolate chips, because I'd hear Sydney's voice and see that wagging finger.

In case you want to make it, you can find the recipe here: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/sunny-anderson/chocolate-chip-butterscotch-pie-recipe/index.html

What We Do Best

When Sydney was here, we did what we do best- we went shopping. Nearly two years ago, a new outlet mall opened nearby. It's about 20 minutes away if you go the back way. If you take the interstate, it's just the next exit down. I haven't been there yet. When it first opened, it was so busy for months that you couldn't get near the place. Then I wanted to wait until Mom was here to go.

We went last Tuesday. Tuesday is a great day to go. There were hardly any other shoppers, which might have also been due to the rain has plagued our area for weeks. Tuesday is also the day they offer a 50+ discount. If you are over 50, some stores have an extra discount on Tuesdays. This is a very handy discount if you are shopping with your parents, who are over 50 but not yet old enough for the traditional senior discount (which is age 62). The outlets are really well thought out-many of the kids stores were in the same area. Parts of the walkways are covered, so you didn't get completely drenched if you were outside.

Our first stop was Gymboree. Sydney walked in the door, spotted a dress, and fell in love with it. After ooing and ahing over this dress, she moved to the next rack, and fell just as hard for that dress. She fell in love all through the store. Then she found a play area, and she lost interest in the dresses. Mom picked out a lot of cute things for Drew and for Syd, but she needed a little more for Syd. She asked if there was something Sydney had liked, so I showed her the dresses she loved. I didn't really see anything that grabbed my attention, and I was waiting for bigger sales. When Mom started to check out, the clerk told us if we went to the mall office, we could get a coupon book just by showing our AAA cards. So we left the pile of clothes on the counter, walked to the offices, and mom and I each got a coupon book. With this coupon book, each store had a special. Carters, for instance, was save $5 if you spend $35. Easy to do at Carters! Gymoboree's was 15% off an order of $75 or more. We love to shop, and we love it more when we get terrific deals!

After Gymboree, we handed Dad our bags, and we went next door to Carter's. We shopped for Sydney first, and then for Drew. Sydney was a good helper. The hangers have a color coded tab that tells you the size. We told her what color to look for, and she went through racks picking out sweet little outfits for her brother. Tuesdays are double stamp days at Carter, and Mom spent enough to fill up a few stamp cards. She gave the full cards to me to use, and between all the savings and her cards, my purchase went from $100 to $50. WOO!!!

Our next stop was Osh Kosh B'Gosh. We still needed to find spring/fall coats for both kids. We really hit the jackpot in Osh Kosh. We found two little fleece lined windbreakers for Drew. We bought one for spring, and a size bigger for the fall. We found Sydney the cutest little navy trenchcoat, a rain coat, and I think a windbreaker type jacket.

After hitting these three stores, we figured we had done a great deal of damage. I went into a couple stores for me, and then we decided to grab some lunch. There's a little food court at the outlets, it had a pizza place (which satisfied Sydney) and a Subway. There was also a chicken place and I forget the other one.

After lunch, we were headed to the Lane Bryant outlet for mom. She needed to find a dress because she has a family friend's wedding in July, and my cousin is getting married in October. On the way to Lane Bryant, I spied a Yankee Candle store. We went in, and Mom started telling Sydney 'DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!' We agreed it was probably best that they go on, and I'd catch up. Yankee Candle had a great sale- two large jar candles for $25. These same candles are $26.99 each in retail stores. I also was able to find some scents I love, but have trouble finding in the regular stores or online. I found Garden Cucumber, Granny Smith, and Cider Doughnut- which was a very yummy apple and spice scent. It smells like fresh apple cider doughnuts (imagine that!). I bought six candles! I was very happy.

Mom found a very pretty dress. Sydney told her 'you look beautiful, MeMe'. Yeah, she knows who to butter up! When we made it back to the car, we were a little surprised to see the cargo/trunk area filled with bags!

The next day, Wednesday, we went to Kohls. They were having a one day sale, and mom had a coupon for an extra 15% off with her Kohls card. I don't have a Kohls card, because I think I would be in so much trouble. We each grabbed a cart, or a little buggy. They aren't the traditional carts like you find at Target or Walmart. Keep that in mind. We went straight to the kids' section. We started with Drew. I picked out four outfits for him, Mom started filling the cart. Dad got into it too, finding him a couple of cute outfits. Then we went to Syd's sizes. She was picking out all kinds of things. She was very excited. She picked out tops and shorts, and our carts were filling up. Then we found dresses. All the dresses were 50% off that day. She once again fell in love with every dress. I went through the racks, and picked out all that were a size 6. I held them up for her and told her to choose which one she liked. I told her I would buy one. Mom and Dad had come along by then, and Mom said 'we'll buy you one also'. She picked out the two she liked, and the rest went back onto the rack. Then we spotted all these red, white, & blue dresses. Mom and I both love red, white, & blue. We went to look at those, and Sydney said she wanted all of them. Mom told her to pick one, so Sydney pointed to one dress and said to Mom 'You can buy me that one', and then she looked at me with those big blue eyes and said 'And Aunt Amy can buy me that one' and pointed at another dress. She knows how to work us! By this point, the clothes were piled so high in mom's buggy that you couldn't find the handlebar. Sydney looked at Mom and said 'now what are we shopping for, MeMe?' When it came time to check out, the clerk gave mom an extra 30% off instead of the 15% she had the coupon for, because Mom had such a big order.

Yeah, we can't deny that she's one of us. She is very good at shopping. She doesn't complain like some children might. She could truly shop all day. As long as you feed her, she's good. In fact, she doesn't consider it a real shopping trip unless you've had lunch out.

She and Drew are now outfitted for the summer. I put up some of the outfits for their birthdays (the ones they could wear in the fall). Mom kept raiding my garage for empty boxes. I know Syd and Drew each had a large box that was stuffed full of clothes. It's a big help to my sister, they don't have to worry about clothes for the kids. And it was a fun day for all of us! After all, we love to shop!

30 Day Song Challenge

Several of my friends on Facebook are playing the 30 day song challenge. Each day has a specific theme, and you post the song you like. It appears to also include going to youtube and finding the video or a performance? I'm not really clear on the rules. But I don't want all that hassle. I did think it was neat, so I found the list, printed it, and have been trying to pick songs for this. It is hard. Some days I have more than one song, and other days I can't think of a song.

Day 1: Your favorite song: This is hard. I have different favorite songs, for different occasions. I like '100 Years' by Five for Fighting, because it is a beautiful song. I love 'Sweet Home Alabama' by Lynard Skynard because it's classic. I love 'I Go Blind' (Hootie & The Blowfish), 'Holiday' (Green Day), and '1985' (Bowling for Soup) because they have great beats. So I guess I have a lot of favorites.

Day 2: Your least favorite song: 'Gold Digger' by Kanye West. I truly hate this song. I dislike Kanye West too. He is the only artist that causes me to change the radio station when he's on. I've even changed it to talk radio, just so I don't have to listen to him.

Day 3: A song that makes you happy: 'Light Up My Room' by Barenaked Ladies. Actually, I like the whole album, Stunt. It's a great cd to pop in when you want a good mix of fun and sap.

Day 4: A song that makes you sad: 'God's Will' by Martina McBride. I love the song, but some days I can't even listen to it. It's about a disabled boy and the lessons he teaches those around him.

Day 5: A song that reminds you of someone: Here again, there are several. 'Wind Beneath My Wings' (Bette Midler) reminds me of my sister. We made each other a mix tape when I went to college, and this was the last song on both of our tapes. Both of us said it was how we felt about the other one. Another one for day 5 would be 'Angels Among Us' by ALABAMA. This one makes me think of my Grandpa Wager. Finally, 'Once In Love With Amy' (the Sinatra version) makes me think of a family friend, Al Thayer. He used to sing it to me every time he saw me.

Day 6: A song that reminds you of somewhere: 'God Bless America' (Kate Smith) and 'NY, NY' (Frank Sinatra) both remind me of Yankee Stadium. Really- does this surprise you?

Day 7: A song that reminds you of a certain event: 'Semi-Charmed Kind of Life' (Third Eye Blind). It was released in June,1997, and was extremely popular all that summer and into 1998. I graduated from college in 1998, and this song makes me think of college. More specifically, it makes me think of Senior Night at The Electric Lady, which is a bar in Madison, IN (Madison is just a few minutes from Hanover). The Electric Lady was a popular college hang out. I went to Senior Night with several friends, including my roommate, Hilary. Hilary would not touch a drop of alcohol, but she wanted to go to a bar once. She was afraid someone would give her a coke that had alcohol in it, so she would only let me get her drinks. I remember standing on the second floor, singing along with Hilary and other friends, belting out the words to Semi-Charmed Kind of Life.

Day 8: A song that you know all the words to: I don't know that there is one, but there are quite a few that I can fake my way through!

Day 9: A song that you can dance to: This would imply that you actually CAN dance. Which I can't. I have no rhythm. My sister tried to teach me, and gave up saying it was hopeless. But, if I'm alone in the room and there's no chance anyone is looking in the windows, you'll find me grooving to 'Dancin', Shaggin' on the Boulevard' (ALABAMA).

Day 10: A song that makes you fall asleep: There isn't one. Think about it. If one song put me to sleep, I wouldn't have bouts of insomnia! I can sleep with music on, but there's not one magical 'lights out' song.

Day 11: A song from your favorite band: Just one? They are my favorite band for a reason. I'll go with 'Mountain Music' (ALABAMA). It's classic ALABAMA.

Day 12: A song from a band you hate: 'Hanging Tough' (New Kids on the Block). Yes, I am one of the few people in my age group who hates NKOTB. Or one of the few women that is. My sister was a huge NKOTB fan, as were many of my friends. I just didn't get it. Of course, while they were listening to NKOTB, I was listening to ALABAMA. That might be part of it. I also got so sick of NKOTB.

Day 13: A song that is a guilty pleasure: 'Mambo #5' by Lou Bega. I mean, it's really about a guy who's a womanizer. But I love the beat, and all that trumpet! I find brass music so sexy! I can't explain it.

Day 14: A song that no one would expect you to love: 'Empire State of Mind' (Jay Z/ Alicia Keys). It's a bit modern for me, and possibly is considered rap. See, I don't even know what kind of music it is. But I love it. I think because it's about NY. Even though it's about NYC. But then again, who's writing songs about Albany?

Day 15: A song that describes you: 'Desperado' (The Eagles). I have always had a very deep personal connection to this song. Maybe because I've always been a bit of a loner. The melody and the words speak to my heart.

Day 16: A song A song that you used to love but now hate: 'Follow Me' (Uncle Kracker). My change of heart has nothing to do with Uncle Kracker switching from Rock to Country. After all, country music is where my roots are, and I still enjoy country (but the new stuff all sounds like pop, so why bother?). There was a time, maybe 10 years ago, when I loved this song. The last time I heard it, I realized I should probably take it off my MP3 player. It doesn't speak to me anymore.

Day 17: A song that you hear often on the radio: Whatever Lady Gaga's most recent trash is.

Day 18: A song that you wish you heard on the radio: I can't really think of a specific one, I'd just like more variety. Which is why I usually just listen to a cd or my MP3 player.

Day 19: A song from your favorite album: 'NYC Weather Report' (Five for Fighting). I love this album, and this song is fun. You've got to love Five for Fighting- which is not a band, it is one guy. He chose the name because he's a huge hockey fan. When you are fighting in hockey and get a penalty, you get five minutes for fighting. Hence the name. I love that!

Day 20: A song that you listen to when you're angry: 'Bitch' (Meredith Brooks). The name says it all! It is best enjoyed with the volume turned up loud, the windows down, and wind blowing through your hair.

Day 21: A song that you listen to when you're happy: 'One Week' (BareNaked Ladies). It's a fun song. BNL is always a good choice when I'm happy.

Day 22: A song that you listen to when you're sad: Hymns. I have a CD of ALABAMA singing hymns, and I listen to it when I'm down. It gives me comfort.

Day 23: A song that you want to play at your wedding: Hmm. I already had one, and we did 'The Way You Look Tonight' (Sinatra). I don't plan on having another, but I guess if there were to be one, it would be 'What's Forever For?' (Michael Martin Murphey). It's an old country song- it came out in 1982. I was 6. I've been listening to it for most of my life. It is a beautiful song that makes you sad and hopeful at the same time. "I've been looking at people, and how they change with the times, and lately all I've been seeing are people throwing love away and losing their minds. Maybe it's me who's gone crazy, but I can't understand why.. all these lovers keep hurting each other when good love is so hard to come by. So what's the glory in living? Doesn't anybody ever stay together any more? And if love never lasts forever, tell me, what's forever for?"

Day 24: A song that you want to play at your funeral: 'How Great Thou Art' . We did not usually attend Mass with singing, but sometimes we went and I remember hearing this song at Mass. I remember how the notes would bounce off the wooden pews, and echo through the stained glass windows. It always felt so powerful, and made me feel small, but safe. It is my favorite hymn.

Day 25: A song that makes you laugh: 'Snoopy's Christmas' (Royal Guardsmen). There were several songs the Royal Guardsmen did in the 1960s about Snoopy and the Red Baron. Yes, Snoopy, the beagle in the Peanuts comic strip. I am a Peanuts fan, and of course a beagle fan, and the songs are just fun. I have several of them on my MP3 player.

Day 26: A song that you can play on an instrument: 'Jesus Loves Me' . It was one of the first songs I learned to play on the organ. It has been years since I played it, but I'm sure I could still do it.

Day 27: A song that you wish you could play: 'Driving' (the soundtrack to Driving Miss Daisy). I love the sound of a clarinet (yet I played flute, go figure!). It is such a long beautiful piece, I wish I could play it.

Day 28: A song that makes you feel guilty: I don't think of any.

Day 29: A song from your childhood: 'Roll On (Eighteen Wheeler)' by ALABAMA. It is a song about a dad who drives truck, and the family waiting for him at home. My mother introduced me to ALABAMA. For years, my dad drove the field truck for Caterpillar, and his job could take him anywhere in the Northeast. The nights dad would be late, Mom put on this album and played it. It was kind of an anthem for our family.

Day 30: Your favorite song at this time last year: 'Say Hey Song' by Michael Franti & Spearhead. It has this wonderful Caribbean beat that I find irresistible. Recently I have heard it used in a beer commercial. "It seems like everywhere I go, the more I see the less I know." Makes you want to get up and dance!

So that does it, my own version of the 30 Day song challenge. The thing is, I like so many songs. I like songs for their beat, or for the memories the song evokes, or for the people the song reminds me of. Tomorrow I will return to our regular blogging- after all, I have more Sydney stories!

The Easter Bunny

We ventured into new territory this year. The Easter Bunny made a stop at our house. When the family was coming for Christmas, I checked with my sister to see what Santa's traditions were. I wanted to make sure Santa was consistent between Ohio and New York. Santa does not wrap presents in NY, so I had to make sure he didn't wrap them in Ohio either.

I forgot to ask my sister what was expected of the Easter Bunny. I bought plastic Easter eggs, and a roll of stickers and some fun size packages of M&M's. But I didn't know if the Easter Bunny was supposed to have a gift for her here too. I wrapped all their Easter gifts before my family arrived. I asked my Mom, but she didn't know either. So I asked Sydney about the Easter Bunny. She told me he would bring Easter eggs and hide them, and she had to find them. Ok, I could handle that!

I forgot that Sydney is her mother's daughter in so many ways, one of which is that she's a snoop. When I was cleaning in preparation for their visit, I hid the packages of plastic Easter eggs in one of the drawers in the dresser in the guest room (aka Syd's room). I had cleared out the bottom two drawers for Sydney's clothes, and I didn't think she'd look in the other drawers. Like I said, I forgot she's a snoop!

Tuesday night we colored Easter eggs. I had looked at all the egg coloring kits at the store, and there were too many options. I couldn't decide. So many kits had glitter, and I knew I didn't want glitter all over my house. So I decided we would color eggs the old fashioned way: with food coloring, vinegar and water. I had neon food coloring, as well as red, green, and yellow (for Christmas cookies). I cooked 8 eggs, but one shell split while cooking so the dogs enjoyed that. Sydney loved creating her own colors. She took a drop of this, and a drop of that, and was like a mad chemist as she mixed her colors. I thought they were going to be the ugliest eggs, but they turned out very pretty. She did each one a different color. Erich helped her color the eggs. He was so patient, and so good with her.

On Tuesday night I realized Wednesday was their last day here, so I went into her room when she was occupied, took the Easter eggs out of the drawer, and put them in a bag in my room. I told my mom I'd take them downstairs to fill that night. A few minutes later, Sydney and I were playing in her room. Out of the blue she said 'There's Easter eggs in one of those drawers!' I played dumb, so she decided to show me. She stood up, opened the drawer, and let out a gasp. "They aren't here!" She turned and looked at me accusingly, "Where did they go?" I told her I didn't even know there were eggs in there. She looked like she was trying to decide if she could believe me. I told her if there were eggs in there, the Easter Bunny must have come in and taken them.

At this point, Sydney excitedly fell to her knees on the floor, and squealed 'I see bunny prints!' She pointed to imaginary bunny footprints on the carpet, and tracked the bunny through the room. I was trying, without much success, to keep a straight face. Tears were filling my eyes. She lost the trail of the bunny in the hallway, and came back in wanting to know why his prints didn't go down to the front door. 'How did he get in? How did he get out?' Her imagination is so active, and she's such a smart child, it's hard to stay a step or two ahead of her. I told her 'He must have hopped in through your window'.

She spun around to the window, and decided that yes, he had come in through the window. But wait! "The window is closed". She looked at me with those piercing blue eyes again, her hands on her hips. "Why in the world would he close the window?" I told her "The Easter Bunny is a very neat house guest. He comes in, does what he needs to do, and leaves. He leaves everything the way it was, so you'd never know he was here". This explanation satisfied her, and she went back to playing with her toys.

That night, after she had gone to bed, I sat up stuffing Easter Eggs. I took the roll of stickers and cut it into smaller parts, so I could fill most of the eggs with stickers. I had two different sizes of eggs- 24 in all. I filled six eggs with packages of M&Ms (I didn't want to give her too much candy). Then I was at a loss. I had 6 eggs left to fill, and nothing to put in them. I remember my mom putting money in eggs for Syd a couple of years ago. So I put 50 cents into four eggs, and put a $1 bill in the remaining two eggs. I put all the eggs in a bag, and hid them from Snoop, Jr. The next morning, before we left to go shopping, I handed the bag to Erich and asked him to assist while we were out.

We were planning to see Hop on Wednesday afternoon. I checked movie times online, and the first movie started at 12:45. We went to Kohls, and then to the movie theater. We got there at 12:30, and there weren't any other cars in the parking lot. I didn't think that was odd- the theater isn't busy, and schools here were not on spring break. We got out of the car, Sydney skipping to the door as she held my hand, and on the door was a sign that said the theater opens at 4:30 M-W, the first show is at 4:45. We were crushed. Well, Sydney was crushed and we had to try to explain it to her.

We came home to get lunch. She was barely through the door when she spotted an Easter egg. The dogs were barking like crazy (as they always do when someone comes in the door). The Easter egg lifted her mood, and then she saw another. She went into orbit. 'The Easter Bunny came! The Easter Bunny came!' I handed her a basket that had conveniently been left on the table, and she started filling it. She had to open each egg as she found it, and then she put it into her basket. I told her 'this must be why the dogs were barking so much' and she said 'ya, cuz they saw the Easter Bunny!' There was an egg 'hidden' in the picture window behind the couch, and as she reached for that egg, she squealed and pointed outside 'Look! I see Easter Bunny prints!' Erich had gone to the store, and he came home in the middle of the egg hunt. She knew Erich had been here when we left, so she asked him if he saw the Easter Bunny. Erich said he didn't. She decided the Easter Bunny must have been waiting for all of us to leave so he could come hide eggs. The Easter Bunny did a good job, hiding eggs all over the house, even in the upstairs bathroom.

Sydney wanted to know why we were having an indoor Easter Egg hunt. I told her it had rained so much lately it wasn't nice to be outside (which was true!). In her bed, her doll Ruby was snuggled up with an egg in her hands. Sydney picked her up and said 'Ruby? Did you see the Easter Bunny?' She then asked my dolls and bears if they all saw the Easter Bunny. She was absolutely giddy. After she collected all the eggs, she came downstairs to look over her loot. Each egg had to be opened again, and everyone had to watch to see what was in the eggs. As she opened the eggs with money, she yelled 'Yay! Money, money, money! I love money!'

The Easter Egg hunt sort of took her mind off HOP. She told her mom she didn't get to see it, and Laura told her that her daddy wanted to see it, so he would take her (and he did, on Friday). After she found all the eggs, we had to hide them again and find them again. We did this for hours. Then we played egg races, where we held an egg on a spoon and walked around. I did ok with plastic eggs, I never did well using real eggs. She entertained herself all afternoon with those plastic Easter eggs.

She also felt we needed to hide eggs for the Easter Bunny. She said you hide the eggs you colored so the Easter Bunny could find them. She took the egg carton full of colored eggs out of the frig, trying to hide them, and I kept having to create reasons why she couldn't hide them, and struggled to get the carton away from her and back into the frig. I was afraid she would hide an egg and not remember where it was, and we wouldn't find it until it had started to smell! I also didn't want the dogs eating the eggs. They love eggs, and I know they would have eaten the shells and all.

I'm getting very good at this Aunt thing. First Santa, now the Easter Bunny. I guess the next thing we'll have to address is the tooth fairy! Hopefully, she won't have to visit Ohio!

Welcome to the Midwest

I try to make my guests feel welcome. Fresh linens, a refrigerator stuffed with food they like, their favorite beverages on hand. This year Mother Nature helped with the welcome, making sure Mom and Dad and Sydney had the full Midwest experience.

Spring in the Midwest can be beautiful. The flowers and budding trees put on a colorful and fragrant show. But it can also be a deadly time. The mix of warm and cool create powerful storms, and in some cases tornadoes.

Several nights Mom and Dad were here we had thunderstorms. The storms would roll in after dark. Some of them my Mom slept through, and some she didn't. It rained most of the day Tuesday, and the weatherman said there was a chance for severe weather Tuesday night. I kept checking the weather online, watching the storms march across Illinois and Indiana. Facebook is helpful with this- my friends who live 3 or 4 hours west were posting things about storms, so I knew what was headed our way. Everyone else went to bed. I watched the 11:00 pm news, and the weatherman said they would be staying in the studio all night. He expected that in an hour or two the weather would be in our area. I watched some other tv, and dozed a little on the couch. Around 12:45 I remembered what they said about the severe weather. I turned back to the local ABC station, and they were in non-stop weather coverage. The storms were just starting to move into Ohio. As the storms moved into the western part of our county, they showed rotational properties. We went under a tornado warning. Yet it wasn't even raining outside my house. I know better than to think it's a false alarm. I watched the weather for about half an hour, debating whether I should wake the rest of the house. I didn't want to wake them and alarm everyone for nothing. But I also didn't want to wait and then have to hurry everyone to the first floor. When the weatherman called his daughter who is a student at Miami University (about half an hour away) and told her to get to her safe place, my decision was made.

I went upstairs and woke my parents, and then Erich. I told them all they needed to come downstairs because we had a tornado warning. Then I went into Syd's room. I didn't want to startle her, or scare her, so I just scooped her up with her baby doll and carried her downstairs. Mom brought her blankets. She woke up when we got downstairs, and asked my mom why I had taken her out of bed. Mom told her we had bad weather outside. Sydney asked 'Tornadoes?' and Mom told her possibly.

Mom settled in on the couch, with Sydney in her arms. Dad pulled a chair up in front of the tv to watch it. He wanted to know what to watch for, and where we were on the map. I showed him where Middletown is, and told him if they start naming streets in the area, or talking about people in Middletown to take cover, then we needed to get into the closets. Erich and I went to work cleaning out the closets. We don't have a basement. So our safe spots are the two closets under the stairs- one is in the living room, the other is the pantry in the kitchen. The problem of course, is that both closets are full. The pantry is big enough for Erich and I and the dogs, so I have it set up so you can easily clean it out. I have two carts with shelves on the floor. They provide storage, but you can move the whole cart fairly easily if you need to. Sure, they are heavy. But the adrenaline kicks in and you don't realize it. I bought the carts a couple of years ago, when we had another tornado warning and we spent a great deal of time moving everything out of the pantry. I decided we were wasting valuable time, and bought the carts (which don't have wheels, so I guess they aren't really carts), so we can store food in them, and move them when we need to. The living room closet is full of coats, Christmas decorations, the vacuum cleaner and steam cleaner, and other miscellaneous stuff that gets thrown in. Cleaning out this closet for storm preparation made me realize I have too many coats and jackets, and I need to hoe out this closet!

I put the collars and leashes on both dogs. It's easier to handle them and make them go where I want them to if they are leashed. I've learned this from past experience too. When we'd get into the pantry to wait out the storm and the dog would go back to the living room. I grabbed a cold water out of the frig for each of us, and stacked all the extra pillows and blankets close by. Mom and Dad both have bad knees; Mom has had surgery on both her knees, and Dad totally blew out his leg 4 years ago and had to have every muscle reconstructed. I asked them 'can you get into the closet if we have to?' and they both agreed they could. Erich couldn't get his Mom on the phone (his Dad was in the hospital at the time), so he went next door to wake her and help her. Just as he left, it started pouring. The wind was howling, and then the thunder and lightening kicked in.

Sydney curled up on Mom's lap, wrapped in blankets and terrified. Mom was terrified too, but she was also being a Mom/Grandma and protecting Sydney. The tornado sirens went off. Mom and Dad looked at me and said 'Now?' I told them no, not yet. The sirens go off when you are under a tornado watch and have a severe thunderstorm. I told them to keep watching the radar on tv, and listen to the weatherman. If he said to take cover, we would head for the closets: Mom, Dad & Sydney to the living room, the dogs and I to the pantry. As we watched, it seemed the storm was going to miss us. After about half an hour, we could see the worst of the storms were to our east, and we had escaped without damage, and without having to get into the closet.

Sydney told mom she wanted to sleep with them. Mom agreed. Everyone went back to bed. I watched some mindless tv to keep my mind off things. It was a very short night, we were up at 6:30 or so the next morning. We called my sister first thing. I know sometimes she has the TV on as she gets ready, and we didn't want her to worry. Mom told her it was very scary, but that Erich and I remained calm throughout it. I was surprised to hear this. During the tornado warning, I didn't feel calm. My heart was pounding in my chest. But I knew what we had to do. I've lived in the Midwest for the better part of 17 years, and this is part of spring.

Looking back on those years, I've come a long way. I remember my first tornado warning. It was during my freshman year at Hanover. I was walking back to my dorm after dinner with friends, and we heard sirens. I looked around, wondering what on earth that noise was, and people started running towards buildings. We went to Crowe Hall, one of the guys dorms. We all crowded in the basement. I was a quivering, crying, hysterical mess. Others didn't understand why I was so upset. One of my friends explained I was from NY. Someone asked 'Didn't you have tornado drills in school?' I told them no, we don't have tornadoes in NY. (Not completely true, but they are extremely rare in NY). My first few years in the Midwest echoed this experience: the word tornado drove fear right through me. I'm still afraid of them now, but I know what precautions to take. I know how to ready my home and my family, and I hope that staying alert and doing what I need to do will keep us safe.

The next night before bed, Sydney asked if we were going to have more tornadoes. I told her no. We would have rain, but no tornadoes. She asked how I knew that. Poor little kid. I know it had been a terrifying experience for her. I told her the weatherman said it would be ok tonight, and she said that was good. She didn't want me to wake her up so she could watch the news! That is what she took away from the experience- that we had to get up in the middle of the night to watch the 'news'.

The Cincinnati Zoo

Sydney wanted to see Polar Bears. She loves Polar Bears. Originally, I thought we would go to Columbus Zoo, because they have a new Polar Bear feature. I checked both Cincinnati Zoo and Columbus Zoo, and found that the Cincinnati Zoo also has polar bears, so there really was no point to drive twice as far and go to Columbus. Plus, the Cincinnati Zoo had a baby giraffe, who was born a couple weeks ago. So we decided to go to Cincinnati.

Looking at the weather forecast for the week, we knew our only chance to get to the Zoo was Monday. Rain was forecast for Tuesday and Wednesday. My brother-in-law had gotten on the computer and showed Syd videos of the baby giraffe. She was very excited, and she knew all about the giraffe. I don't know if she was more excited to see the giraffe or the polar bears!

We left Monday morning, stopping at Cracker Barrel for breakfast. Then it was off to the zoo. The zoo is also a botanical garden, and it was done up with the most beautiful tulip beds throughout the zoo. The zoo is also very hilly, and you find yourself walking up or down a hill all day. We took Syd's stroller, and my poor dad pushed it all over the zoo. Inclines really hurt both of my parents' knees, and I know they were both hurting by the end of the day.

We went into the eagle area, and the eagle was right in front of us, just on the other side of the gate. Sydney wanted to see everything. We all refused to take her into the reptile house. But she wanted to go in the insect house. This child screams at anything she thinks is a bug, yet she wanted to go into the insect house. My mother said no. Dad looked at me. So I went with her into the insect house. And what is the first thing we see? A tarantula. I felt light-headed. For those who don't know, I HATE SPIDERS. I am terrified of them. Just the night before, I looked up from the computer and saw one the size of my thumb on the door. Normally, I would yell until Erich came downstairs (he calls it my spider yell). Since my parents and Syd were all asleep upstairs, I went upstairs, knocked on Erich's door, and told him to come downstairs. Another morning, I was headed down the stairs and I froze, because I spotted a small spider on the wall. Dad looked up, sighed, and grabbed a kleenex. I told him 'some things never change'. So here I am, in the insect house, staring at a tarantula. Yes, it's behind glass. And no, that is no comfort to me. I urge Syd to get to the next cage. She goes up to each glass cage, fascinated by all the creepy crawling things. My skin crawls just thinking of it. There was a boy her age who ran away crying 'I don't like all these bugs!' But it didn't bother Syd.

After we finished the insect house, she wanted to go into the nocturnal house. My parents were taking a much needed rest, so I went with her. The last time I was at the Cincinnati Zoo was in 2002. Laura and Andy had come to visit, and we went to the zoo. The guys wanted to go into the nocturnal house, and Andy convinced my sister to go. She did ok until she saw the bats. Then she grabbed my hand. When my sister saw the vampire bats, she screamed and froze. She wanted to get out of there, but could not make her legs move. I had to drag her out of the nocturnal house. With this memory in mind, I took Syd into the nocturnal house. The bats didn't bother her. She grabbed my hand, but she didn't scream. We did leave kind of quickly though, because it was too dark for her. She had told me before we went in that she was only a little scared of the dark.

Connected to the nocturnal house is the Dragons exhibit. This is where the Komodo Dragons are. She said she didn't want to go, but changed her mind when I explained to her that they were basically big lizards. Lizards don't bother her. I also decided she had dragged me into the insect house, she was going in the dragon house! The Komodo Dragon wasn't as impressive as I thought it would be. Maybe because it was indoors, not outside that day. I wasn't able to get any good pictures of it. Maybe if it were outdoors and I could have gotten pictures, it would have seemed more interesting.

The Zoo has a Carousel and playground, and Sydney found both. She told me she wanted to ride the carousel alone. Fortunately, she was almost tall enough, and the girl operating the carousel said she was ok (she was less than an inch below the 'you must be this tall' line). You would think she got on the polar bear, but no, she hopped on the giraffe. Giraffes might be her new favorite animal. She loves carousels. When the carousel ride ended, she told Dad 'there's a playground over there!' and off we went. It gave my parents and I a chance to sit down, and she played. There were two girls who were maybe 8 trying to go up the slide from the bottom, and when Syd slid down it she hit them. So she told them they were wrong, you were supposed to slide down it, not walk up it. She kept reporting back to us, and finally, the girls did it the right way.

We saw rhinos (which Sydney kept telling us were pregnant), tigers, zebras, and finally- we were at the bear section. One of the polar bears was swimming, and you could see into the pool from below the water level, so she got to see the polar bear in the water. There were others playing, and she had a great time watching the polar bears. Once she had her fill of them, she wanted to go to the giraffes. We took a short train ride. Anyone can ride the train, but it's hard to fold yourself into the seat if you are an adult. The train takes you over some of the exhibits, and you find yourself looking down onto the zebras. You are on this rickety wooden bridge, with no railing on one side. The narrative says the train was put in shortly after the zoo opened in 1875. You can really believe it has been there that long, and the bridge has too. It was a pleasant trip though. Sydney said she chose it because she thought we all needed a break.

We kept asking her if she wanted an ice cream. It was about 75, and mostly cloudy. When the sun came out it got hot, and of course all the walking was exhausting. Every time we asked her about ice cream, she turned us down. She may have been the only child saying no to ice cream.

Finally, we made our way to the giraffe exhibit. There was a line to see Zuri, the 16 day old giraffe. It was also giraffe feeding time, and there was a line to feed Kimba, the daddy giraffe. The mom and baby were in the giraffe house. You looked in through a window to see them. The giraffe house is very tall, obviously, to house all the giraffes. The viewing window is near the ceiling of the house, so you look down onto the giraffes. There really wasn't any way to take pictures, because you were shooting into glass, and there was such a crowd. Sydney decided she didn't like the name Zuri, so she renamed the baby giraffe Athena. She has a new friend at school named Athena.

We wanted to feed the daddy giraffe, and as we were finishing up looking at mommy and baby, they announced last call for feeding. Sydney and I rushed to the feeding line. The giraffe exhibit is set up so that you are at the same level as the giraffe's heads- it's a tree top exhibit. A very different perspective, normally you find yourself looking up at the giraffes. We bought our crackers- $1 bought you one cracker, which was roughly the size of a saltine. Mom bought us each one. We had been busy looking at the baby, so I did not hear them say how to feed the daddy. I turned to ask the zookeeper, and Kimba took the cracker right out of my hand. People had been feeding him for an hour, and he acted like he was starved. I felt something slimy on my hand, and when I turned my head, the cracker was gone and I was eye to eye with an adult giraffe. I had expected to still be looking up a little. It was so unusual to look a giraffe in the eye. It was easy to forget that this is a wild animal. His big brown eyes were soft and gentle, yet had a playful sparkle in them. His eyes were framed by the most luxurious eyelashes. I can see why they said 'do not pet the giraffe'. Because you wanted to. You wanted to reach out and stroke his long soft nose. It was a moment I wanted to freeze forever.

Sydney did have to reach up to the giraffe, but he was gentle with her too. He took the cracker out of her hand very quickly, causing her to erupt in giggles. There are few moments that take your breath away. Looking a giraffe in the eye was one of them for me. It was so sweet, so perfect. Even though it was just a brief encounter, I felt it all the way through my soul. If you go to the zoo, I highly recommend you go to the giraffe exhibit at feeding time. It was amazing.

We finished our trip with a visit to the elephants. By this point, the three adults were dragging. Sydney seemed a little tired, and we hoped she would take a nap in the car. She didn't. She played quietly with the new toys she bought at the gift shop, but she didn't sleep. That night, when she talked to her parents, they asked 'what did you do today?' and she told them 'nothing'. Then she did tell them she saw the baby giraffe and fed the daddy. She'll have a lot to tell her friends when she goes back to school. It was a great day at the zoo!

Our First Reds Game

Sunday, April 17 we went to a Reds Game. I bought the tickets for Dad's birthday and Father's Day combined. I got a great deal on the tickets. If you bought one at full price, you got the rest for half off. Our seats were just to the right of home plate, still kind of behind home plate. Sure, it was the last row in the section, but they were incredible seats. The full price ticket was only $45! We were amazed! When we got into the stadium, Dad stopped by a map and wanted to see where our seats were. When I pointed to the section we were in, he looked at me in wonder. He was really impressed.

It was overall, a pleasant experience. I've never been to a National League game. The Yankees are in the American League. The difference is that in the American League, the pitcher only pitches. He doesn't take a turn at the bat. In the National League, the pitcher also bats.

We left the house early, so that we would have plenty of time to find parking. We're used to going to baseball games in the Bronx, where if you don't get there early, you don't find decent parking. We arrived two hours early. We did get a little lost getting off the interstate, because the signs said ballpark exit 1F, Second Street. And when we got there, 1F was NOT the Second Street exit. But we were only a couple of blocks away, and easily found our way to the ball park. Downtown Cincinnati was absolutely dead. You would not think you were in the middle of a big city.

We parked in a garage a block from the stadium. We were the first car in the garage. It was a pleasant walk next to the river. It was a cool day, the high was only about 62, and it was windy. But the sunshine was gorgeous. We went to the main gate and had to wait about half an hour before the gates opened. People stood in line and chatted with strangers. Dad and I were at a baseball game, so naturally, we had on Yankees apparel. Dad had on his Yankees hat, shirt, sweatshirt, and coat. I wore a Yankees hat (because it's a baseball game, you have to wear a hat), shirt (which no one saw) and sweatshirt. Several people approached us asking 'are you from NY?' Dad happily told everyone he was a die hard Yankees fan, but I lived here so we came to see the Reds. People thought it was great that we were coming to the Reds game. Everyone was so friendly.

When the gates opened, I grabbed Syd's hand and held onto her. Mom and Dad kind of wrapped their arms around us, to make a protective barrier around us so we couldn't get separated. As I said, we're used to the Bronx. Where people push and shove to get into the gates. At Great American Ballpark, people stood in a line and entered the gate in an orderly fashion. No pushing. There was no fear of being separated. The people behind you knew they'd get in once you did. It was so pleasant.

Once inside the gate, we got our free baseball cards, which were handed out to all the fans as part of a promotion. In NY, promotional materials are handed out to the first few thousand. That's part of the jostling and pushing- everyone wants that free item. In Cincinnati, you just walked up and a ballpark employee handed one to you. It was easy to find our seats. Partly because Great American Ballpark is a small park, especially compared to Yankee Stadium. I really don't think there's a bad seat in the park.

Sydney wanted to eat as soon as we were there. She started with a hot dog. Then she ate french fries, and had an ice cream. Mom went to get an ice cream, and was back within five minutes. It wasn't this huge stadium to go through. Syd ate all of this before the first pitch was thrown. The prices were wonderful- a hot dog was only $4.00 (or maybe it was $4.50). Erich thought this was outrageous, but when Dad told him it's $8 in Yankee stadium, Erich realized why we thought it was such a cheap day. We were able to take a small cooler in, which saved us because we had Syd's drinks and waters in the cooler.

Sydney took her pink glove, and was certain we were going to catch a ball. We didn't. She bought one though, in the gift shop. There was not a lot of fan fare before the game. When they sang the Star Spangled Banner, I noticed not all the players for both teams were on the field. It was low key, but still a lot of fun. The fans still get into the game, just as they do in NY. It was easy to get into it, and you never felt like an outsider. Sydney loved the game, she kept watching. And eating. When the vendors came through the crowd, she got a cotton candy. A few minutes later, she got a snow cone. Mom had told her she could have anything she wanted. I kept hoping she wouldn't get sick. She didn't. In the 7th inning she had another hot dog. We hit the gift shop and she picked out a little glove and ball for her brother. She bought herself a Rosie doll (one of the mascots), and then picked a Mr. Red doll for her brother. In the gift shop, I was amazed at how civil everyone was. There was no pushing. No employees standing between you and the merchandise, trying to control the mob. You didn't feel like cattle being herded. You could take your time and find what you wanted. The cashier even asked each person if you needed tags cut off so you could wear the merchandise right away.

Each time the Reds score a home run, these smokestacks (that look like smokestacks from a paddle wheel boat) shoot fireworks. Sydney really enjoyed seeing that, although I had to explain to her why they didn't send off fireworks when the other team got a home run.

In the 9th inning we got up to hit the ladies' room one last time. As we went back to our seats, children were lining up in the concourse. It was 'run the bases' day, and kids can run the bases after the final out. I grabbed Dad, so we could get on the other side of the line to leave. We ended up leaving before the final out, but we had a great time. We walked to the car, had no problem getting out, and in 5 minutes we were back on the interstate headed for home. It was a good game, and a very nice stadium. The stadium sits on the river, so on a nice summer day it must be beautiful.

The stadium isn't hard to get to, and Dad and I both said we'd go again. I'll have to wait for my parents to come out, because Erich doesn't do baseball. Or any sports. Even though I'm not a Reds fan, it was a very pleasant experience. In fact, I enjoyed it more than I enjoyed Yankee Stadium. I have no desire to go back to Yankee Stadium, but I'll go back to Great American. It was what a baseball game should be: fun.

Adventures at the Mall

Yesterday my parents and Sydney arrived for a six day visit. They left NY at 6:45 am, and arrived here around 7:15pm. Sydney was super excited when she got here. The 12 hour trip did not diminish her enthusiasm. She came inside while Dad and Erich unloaded the vehicle. She wanted to see her room right away, so I took her upstairs. She loved her room, and fell in love with the bears. She thought the room was very very pretty. She was thrilled to find that I had toys and books and crayons for her.

We ate dinner, then we went upstairs to cuddle until she was ready to go to bed. She kept saying she wasn't tired, but she went to sleep quickly.

Today began around 7:20 am. I did not sleep well last night, due to a variety of things: dogs snoring loudly, Erich snoring so loudly on the 2nd floor I could hear him through the floor, storms outside, a migraine, being too cold with not enough blankets, and the air mattress that will be my bed for the next few days. Erich was up, and starting breakfast (which he oddly only does when we have company). I was still on my air mattress, trying to grab a few more minutes of sleep, when my allergies kicked in and I gave up. Sydney came downstairs shortly afterwards. She is like her mother-she is a morning person. Aunt Amy has never been a morning person. Sydney is sweet and chipper and full of energy the moment her eyes open. Aunt Amy gets there after an hour or two (ok, I never really get to chipper.... and my energy tank is never full). She woke up and found the Max & Ruby coloring book I bought her. She brought it downstairs, so happy that I know what she likes. (I try!).

Sydney has taken to some of the bears. I suspect some of them are going home with her. I did tell her she could play with them, and this morning, she had two of them off the shelves and had them on the bed. I asked her what she was doing with those, and she said "I'm keeping them". Five years ago, I would have freaked out that she wanted to even touch my bears. Maybe even two years ago. Now, I'm ok with it. I told her the ones she couldn't play with, and she said 'they must be special bears'. Her favorite is the 'baby bear' I adopted at the Boyd's Bear Country Nursery 7 years ago. He has a couple of outfits so you can change him, plus a toy and a blanket. She has taken to carrying him all over. She changed him into his pjs last night, and then back into his outfit today. I think I have lost my baby bear. He will be going to NY. I'm ok with that too, she really likes him.

We had breakfast, and decided everyone would come with me to the salon. I had a hair appointment, and then we were headed to the mall, which is only about five minutes from my salon. Sydney once again glued herself to me, and is my girl. She wants me to sit with her in the car, she holds my hand when we get out of the car, and if someone asks her 'who do you want to do that?' she says "Aunt Amy!" .

Our first stop at the mall was to get her ears pierced. She paused briefly at the Easter Bunny area, and then it was off to Icing (a subsidiary of Claire's). We got to the mall shortly after it opened, so that was great. The store was not busy. The woman at Icing was incredible! She explained everything to Syd, and let Sydney hold the piercing thing. It is plastic now. I remember it being this big metal gun thing. She told Sydney there was nothing to be afraid of. Sydney was good, but as the woman got ready to do her ears, she started to panic. I think she was rethinking the whole thing, but those pink earrings she had picked out were irresistible! When it actually came time for the piercing, Mom held her, and Sydney did okay for the first ear. She did not want to let the woman pierce her other one though. All of a sudden, she wanted to go see the Easter Bunny. Mom and I tried everything: we can see the Easter Bunny after this, Mom promised to buy her something in the store, we told her she'd look funny with one pink earring. Finally she agreed to let the woman do the second ear, but her impulse was to hunch her shoulder when the woman came near her face. It seemed to take forever, and this woman was so incredibly patient. Customers were lining up in the store, and she was the only salesclerk. But she kept telling them "I'll be with you soon" and everyone seemed to be very understanding. When the second ear was done, I barely had time to take a picture and she was off to pick out something pretty. She chose this gaudy headband with hot pink feathers on it. She thought it was beautiful!

After Icing, we went to the Easter Bunny area. It was almost 11- the time the Easter Bunny was due to hop in, and there were about 10 families in line ahead of us. When it was our turn, she walked right up to him and climbed on his lap. They were able to take pictures, and then she gave him a hug! We waited in line to purchase copies of the pictures. The mall has a little train that goes around the upper level, and as we stood there she kept hearing the train whistle. She looked up at Mom & Dad and said 'can we ride the train?' . So, after purchasing our Easter Bunny pictures, we went to the upper level and found the train.

It was a four car train, plus the engine. Adults can ride in it, but if you're in one of the cars with a roof, it's not a comfortable ride. The ride is maybe only about 3-5 minutes. I went with her, because I didn't want her to ride alone. She chose the coal car, which did not have a roof. I was very grateful! The ride was very pleasant, you actually had a bit of a breeze as you rode along. On the train ride, we went past this place called Fun 4 Us. It was full of bouncy-bounces! She wanted to go there. We got off the train and she told Mom about it, so off we went. Fun 4 Us required children to wear socks. She did not have socks on, as she wanted to wear her 'high heeled sandals'. They aren't really high heels, but they have a little wedge to them. I had told her to bring sneakers and socks, because it was going to rain, and I didn't want her feet to get wet. So she had sneakers and socks in the car. She asked my dad to go get them. We went to get lunch while Dad ran to the car. We ate lunch, not fast enough in her opinion, and then it was off to Fun 4 Us. She skipped as she held my hand.

Fun 4 Us was really great. It was $5 per child, and they can play as long as they want. She went in, hopped on the first bouncy-bounce, and immediately started having fun. There were three bouncy-bounces plus some other ride on toys. The first bouncy-bounce was her favorite. She'd go on it several times, then run to the others and do each of them a couple of times. She was this bundle of energy. I have no idea where all that energy came from, but I was so grateful she had an outlet for it. She played for 45 minutes straight. Most of that time, she was the only child there, so she had a blast. One of the bouncy-bounces had inflatable palm trees on it, and when she'd get onto that bouncy-bounce, she started boxing with the trees. There was a ride-on horse there, and she rode that thing like they were out to save the world. She played hard. The whole time she was laughing this bubbly giddy giggle.

Once she had worn herself out, and taken time to cool down and drink some milk, we went to JC Penney. I wanted to get her some nice earrings. She picked out sets that had four pair in each, so she really got quite a few earrings! As we drove home, her eyes were getting heavy, and we thought she'd go to sleep. She didn't. We stopped at the store, and she kept asking 'when are we going to go home? I want to play with Onyx.'

Onyx and Sydney have become good friends. Onyx thinks Sydney is her toy, and loves that Sydney is her size. Onyx licks Syd, which makes Syd laugh. Onyx reacts to the laughter and licks her more. I found them this morning, rolling around on the floor- a licking and laughing jumble. I end up separating them, because I don't want Onyx to think she can rule Sydney. Sydney is helping feed the dogs, and she likes to pet them. She thinks they are pretty funny.

This afternoon, everyone else was able to get a nap. Aunt Amy and Sydney played. We played with play dough, we worked in her Max & Ruby activity book. We went upstairs and played with dolls and had a tea party with a few bears. We watched half of Tangled, and cuddled on the couch. Then we made homemade pizza for dinner. She helped work the dough out, and then she put all the toppings on the pizza. She would put one pepperoni on the pizza, and pop one in her mouth. She had to sample the sausage too. We had Erich's parents over for dinner, and she really wasn't that shy with them. She talked to them, and took them up to show them 'her room'. I did ask her what we will do when her brother is able to come visit. Could he share the room with her? She said NO! That's her room.

After dinner she performed her dance routine for us, then it was upstairs for a bath. Then she wanted the spa treatment, so Aunt Amy had to paint her toenails and fingernails. There's a reason my nails are never painted- I don't paint nails well. But I tried my best. She called her parents to say goodnight, and I tucked her into her bed.

I came downstairs, exhausted. Erich said 'you look beat'. Yes, I am! But I am having a wonderful time and I adore holding her hand and showing her things. As she sat in the tub tonight, she said "I'm so glad I'm here at your house". I told her "I am too, honey!"

Guilt and Thankfulness

This past week I have been thinking of my Mom. A lot. I blame this on Facebook. Before I reconnected with people on Facebook, I didn't know everything that was going on in my friends' lives. I had lost touch with all of the people from high school, and pretty much all the people from college that I was friends with. Now that I've reconnected with all these people from various parts of my life, I know what is going on in their lives. At least as much as they put on Facebook. I know when they have a good day, when they are upset, and when life just flat out sucks.

Last week, two of my Facebook friends lost their Moms. One had been suffering, and was under the care of Hospice. My 'friend' had been praying for peace for her mom. The other friend's mom passed suddenly. While the circumstances surrounding the losses were different, and my friends are 20 years apart in age; their loss is still tremendous. My heart broke for both women. For the high school acquaintance, my heart broke because I couldn't imagine being so young and having your mother gone. For my friend who is the only child and lived close to her elderly mother, my heart breaks that such a huge part of her daily life is gone. Both women seem lost, like they have lost their soul.

Tonight a college friend said her mom had received a terminal diagnosis. Once again I feel my heart breaking for her. I don't know what to say. I don't know what she is going through. I know how devastating it would be for me. I feel so hopeless. All I can do is offer to be there for her. And pray that maybe there's a miracle in her future.

I can't even begin to understand what these women are feeling. I know, someday, I will have to face this. My hope is that my mother will live to a ripe old age of 90+. I hope this because I want to have her in my life as long as possible. Plus, this would give me at least more than another 30 years with her. I know it isn't up to me. I feel so guilty, looking forward to spending a week with my mom, while friends are dealing with such a loss. I guess that's the Catholic. We feel guilty, even about things we can't control!

I also feel very very blessed. I know when I see my Mom, I will give her a big hug. I will cherish each minute we have together in the coming week, and every time we are together. Our family has gotten very good over the years about making the most of the time we have together. We also have a rule in our family- you don't say goodbye without saying 'I love you'. Even if it was just a two minute phone call. You say 'I love you' when you hang up. Because you never know when your last conversation is going to occur. We don't want to leave anything unsaid. My dad once had to take another call while I was on the phone, and he called back after he finished the call. He hadn't told me he loved me when he disconnected our call to take the other one. Even Sydney does this. When she is done talking she says 'Bye, I love you'. Although it's all in one breath so it's more like 'byeiloveyou'.

I know this won't keep my parents from dying. It won't trivialize the loss when it happens. But I know as we grieve, we will be comforted by all the memories. We will be comforted by the 'I Love You's'. For now, I will continue to thank God for each day I have them, and enjoy all of our time together.