The Conversation

I had a great dream last night. Well, it was really this morning. The best part was I didn't have to wake up to an alarm, so I could finish the dream.

I dreamt I was having a get together with family and friends at my parents' house. Some of my bear friends were there, although oddly, not the ones I am in contact with every day. My parents were there, and my Grandma and Grandpa Wager. Grandpa Wager has been gone for 11 years, Grandma for 2 1/2. In my dream, I knew that they were both deceased. They were both there, vibrant and as I like to remember them: Grandma with her Betty White blond hair, Grandpa able to chat with everyone just as he did before Parkinson's destroyed him.

It was so incredible to see my beloved Grandma and Grandpa. In my dream, there were other bear buddies on the phone, and I was being interviewed for a bear friends publication. (My dreams never make a lot of sense if you examine them in real life.) Someone asked me how old I was, and before I could say I would be 35 in June, Grandma spoke up and said I was 40. I laughed in the dream. Grandma always had a heck of a time keeping track of ages. Grandpa always told the story of when they went to get their marriage license. The Minister, who was the pastor of Grandma's church, asked them how old they were. Grandpa replied that he was 22. Grandma said she was also 22. Grandpa told her that she wasn't. Then she went the other direction, and said she was 18 or 19. The Minister was certain she was older than that. Finally, they figured out she was 20. She was born in October, 1917. Grandma and Grandpa were married in May, 1938. She wouldn't be 21 until October.

Every year, when she called on our birthdays, she had to think through it to figure out how old we were. "1976.. so today you are 30". When you called her on her birthday, she had to do the same. 'I'm 79 today!' No, Gram, you're 80. So the fact that my Grandma didn't know how old I was in my dream was hysterical, and very Grandma like.

My grandparents didn't say a lot in my dream. At least not to me. They socialized with my friends. The person interviewing me asked if I were to leave my job and go back to school, what would I study? I answered 'law'. Grandpa spoke up at that point and said 'Girlie, follow your heart. You would study military history, and the Civil War'. Grandpa then went on to tell me that I need to get to see all the battle fields. He told me 'you want to do it, so go do it.' Then he started talking about some of the battles.

Shortly after this, the party in my dream disbursed. I woke up. I wasn't sad that they weren't here, because even in my dream I knew they were deceased. I have heard before that if a deceased loved one appears in your dream, and that they are talking to you, it is them coming to you. I've had this experience many times in the past- when Sydney and Drew were born, before I got home to see them, Grandpa came to me in a dream and told me 'She's gorgeous' and 'we've got a boy. And he's so handsome!' I take peace in these moments. The day felt special, even though it was just another Saturday. I feel closer to them, I don't miss them as much today. It was wonderful.