Mix Tape Memories

Do you remember Mix Tapes?  You bought a cassette tape, and then recorded your favorite songs onto the tape.  This frequently meant listening for sometimes hours on end to the radio, waiting for the song to come on.  Or, if you were a little more impatient, you could call the radio station and ask them to play the song.  You'd have your tape all cued up, with the 'rec/play/pause' buttons all pushed, and then as soon as it came on (or if you got really lucky- the DJ gave an introduction alerting you to the song) you hit 'pause' and started recording. There was also the heartbreak- after waiting for weeks, you turn on the radio just in the middle of the song you wanted to record.  Too late to get it on tape. 

Eventually, we moved from radios with a single tape deck to boom boxes.  Dual tape decks plus a radio.  This meant you could record songs off of the tapes you already had, rather than waiting for them on the radio.  You still had to fast forward to the song you wanted, then press pause while you got the recording tape ready.  It was easier than the radio though.  I was in high school when CDs became popular.  It was easier to create mix tapes from CDs- because you could advance to the next song without the fast-forwarding and rewinding required on a cassette.  Which meant my boom box was upgraded to a different boom box which had a cd player and two tape decks (plus the radio).  Man, I was stylin'!  It also had detachable speakers.  They were still connected with wires, but each speaker could be about 6" away from the actual body of the boom box.  As a teenager, most of my dresser was taken up with my boombox. 


Mix tapes were given to others.  Maybe to your friends because you liked the same songs.  Maybe to boyfriends or girlfriends.  I often made them for myself because it was easier than carrying around all my tapes just for one or two songs on each one. 

After college, the 'new' format was MP3s.  I had a lot of computer techie friends and well, lets just say I loved Napster.  I didn't have to buy the whole album for one song.  I could find the song, burn it to a CD and create mix CDs.  I still have some of those.  Now we rip music from our CD's to create playlists for our MP3 players.  Many of the songs on my MP3 player were ripped from my mix CDs.

While the CDs had a clearer sound, there was a difference between the CDs and the cassettes.  You could record your voice on the cassette tape, and record messages to the recipient.  I thought of this today as I listened to my MP3 player at work.  The song 'Wind Beneath My Wings' came on.  Bette Midler's version.  I know it's not the original, but it is probably the most known.  It was also the one that was popular when I was in high school since the movie 'Beaches' had come out in 1988.  I heard the song, and it was as if I was on a conveyor belt on a fast track to my past.  It took me back 18 years in a heartbeat.

I went to college in Indiana, some 800 miles away from my home in New York.  By the time I graduated high school, my relationship with my sister had evolved from constant fighting to being best friends.  It was hard to leave my family, but I knew I had to do it.  I promised to call frequently and write often.  Laura and I decided to make each other a mix tape of our favorite songs- that way when we were lonely, we could play the songs and think of the other one.  Our musical tastes were about as different as you could get at the time.  I was all about country music (with a few exceptions- like 'Sweet Home Alabama' was one of my favorites as was 'Total Eclipse of the Heart').  My sister was all about whatever was popular.  Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, New Kids on the Block.  As much as I loved ALABAMA, my sister was three times as gaga for New Kids on the Block. 

We didn't tell each other what was on the tapes.  The idea was it was supposed to be a surprise.  I think we both ended up using two tapes, but I don't really remember.  I only remember the ending.  I had carefully selected the songs, and in between the songs I said little things like why I chose the song.  Memories it created.  Before the last song, I recorded a message to my sister telling her how much she meant to me.  I told her that the last song explained how I felt.  The last song on my mix tape to her was 'Wind Beneath My Wings'.

We switched tapes when my family dropped me off at college in Indiana.  I think I started playing mine that same night.  As the end of the tape neared, there was a message from my sister- telling me how much I meant to her.  The last song on the tape she made for me? 'Wind Beneath My Wings'.  The first time we talked, we laughed and cried over the coincidence.  We danced together to the song at each of our wedding receptions.  It will always be the song that reminds me of my sister.

When I heard it today, I have to say I fell apart.  My sister has had a very serious health scare- we've been waiting for a week for the results.  She finally got the results this afternoon (after I heard the song) and everything is fine.  For the past week, that c word has been a specter over our lives.  I sat there listening to the song and found myself filled with sadness, wondering what I would do if something were wrong with her.  Probably, if I had heard the song after she found out the results, I would have been crying tears of relief.

I also felt sadness though over mix tapes.  The next generation will never make a mix tape.  They look at our cassettes (if we still have any) the way we looked at our parents' 8-tracks.  How will they use music to tell someone how they feel?  "I made a playlist for you" just doesn't have the same ring to it.