My pain levels have been getting increasingly higher over the past couple of days. So I was not really surprised this morning when I woke up and pain just raked through my body. I was thinking it was a case of cause and effect. Remember in school we spent days (weeks?) going over cause and effect. The flooding was the effect, the torrential rain was the cause. Sometimes it was easy to determine what the cause was. 'My finger is bleeding because I cut it.' Sometimes we had to think a little more to figure out the cause and effect.
The cause in this case is just my body being worn out. On September 3, I took a flight home to Albany, NY (Albany isn't home, but that's where the airport is). It was my niece Sydney's 3rd birthday weekend, and we had a lot to do. In the many years I have lived apart from my family, we have gotten very good at taking a short amount of time and getting a lot done. I will frequently take a long weekend and go home for three or four days. There is always so much to do, that I'm usually running from the time I get off the airplane. And this time was no different. I got in around 1pm, so it was off to get lunch. Then it was off to see my aunt's new apartment, home for a little bit to play with Syd, and then pizza at our pizza joint- Kay's. We were there for a couple hours, eating this big feast of appetizers and pizza, and chatting with my cousin Beth & her boyfriend Pete. Friday we spent the morning in Bennington, on the Moose Hunt 2009, then we drove to the Schaticoke Fair and spent a couple hours there. I ended up carrying Syd quite a bit, which didn't seem to bother me at the time. But I think it was building up a 'cause'. We ended the day after dropping Syd off at home and going for dinner to Lou A Hale (never really sure how you spell it). I felt like I spent a good part of the day in the car. Saturday was Syd's birthday. We started at the mall, then went to the playland (Hoffman's), and then back to my sisters' house for the family party in the evening. I helped my mom decorate the birthday cake- my job was to mix the colors for the icing. Sunday mom had a wonderful picnic. I was able to play with Syd a lot this weekend, and that was good. Since my aunt was also staying with my mom, I was sleeping in a twin bed. A bit of a change from my queen bed at home. But it was a good weekend. I had some pain issues, mostly in the morning, but the pain I can work through most of the time. Fortunately my energy levels stayed high, allowing me to keep up with Sydney.
Sometimes it feels like my life is a series of trade offs. If I overdo it one day, I know that soon my body will pay for it. So I knew that pushing myself on my vacation would eventually catch up to me,but I get to see my family so infrequently that I always figure I can take whatever fibro dishes out. If I can just get through the vacation without a bad day, then I'll take the bad day when I get back to my normal life. So like I said, my pain levels had been increasing over the past few days. I had a massage on Saturday and it didn't even feel like it did any good. Last night I got home and my back just started spasming. So when I woke up this morning and had tons of pain, I decided I needed to listen to my body. I called in sick to work, leaving my boss a message that my pain levels were too high. I don't know that he'll understand, but he has told me before I have to tell him when I'm in pain. I'm in pain every day, so I don't let on to that, but I thought today I'd tell him that was why I wasn't coming in. I crawled back into bed, and slept all day. I woke up off and on, but pretty much slept until 4pm. Hmm. that was unusual- normally if I rest for a couple of hours I'm able to get up and moving.
Once I got up, we started thinking about dinner. Erich didn't want tacos, which is what I had planned. He offered to go get something, so we decided on Olive Garden. And then when I was trying to give him my order, I started feeling bleah. That's the only way I could describe it. Nothing appealed to me, I couldn't have cared if I ate or not but knew I needed to eat, since I hadn't eaten all day. After dinner I started getting so sick, and so cold. That's when it hit me, maybe it wasn't a bad fibro day after all. Maybe I've got the flu. Most people are able to tell when they are getting the flu because they feel achy all over. That feeling- that achy feeling where everything hurts, I have that all the time. That's fibro. Last night as I tried to sleep, I realized that even the feel of the blanket and sheets on my skin hurt. Physically hurt. So with fibro, I don't know from the aches that I'm getting the flu. And even when I start getting the stomach problems, at first I thought maybe it was my IBS acting up. It was only when the pain in my stomach was persistent, and overall I felt 'bleah', and was so cold that I couldn't get enough layers of clothing on did I start to wonder if it's the flu.
And then the news is talking about H1N1, and how people with underlying health issues are more vulnerable, then I wonder 'is it the regular flu? Is it H1N1? Is Fibro an 'underlying health issue'. So I will go to bed tonight, try to get a good night's sleep, and hopefully will be able to go to work in the morning. And try not to worry about all of this.
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