Talkin' Funny

I have lived in the Midwest for the better part of 17 years. I thought I had gotten past the language barrier, but in the past week I've realized I still have a long way to go. I went to college in Southeastern Indiana. Hanover sits above the Ohio River, and across the river is Kentucky, which is considered part of the South. There were a lot of students from Kentucky at Hanover, including my roommate for three years. In addition, because they are so close, the Southern Indiana dialect has a distinct southern-like drawl to it.

I quickly got used to hearing 'ya'll'. So used to it, in fact, that it became part of my every day use. I still use it. In New York I think we used 'you', 'you guys' or 'yous'. I honestly don't remember what we used. I have used 'ya'll' for so long.

I learned all the ways to say Louisville. As in the city in Kentucky where they hold the Kentucky Derby. Oddly enough, when I was at school, I said 'Lou ee ville', which automatically marked me as an outsider. Yet when I went home for a visit, and someone asked me 'what airport did you fly out of?' I answered 'Luh vuhl' which is how some people from Kentucky pronounced it. This was inevitably met with 'where?' and then I turned back on the NY accent and said 'Lou ee ville'. I don't know why my tongue couldn't say it the KY way when I was in that area, and the NY way when I wasn't.

I've gotten used to Midwesterners ending sentences with prepositions. Or saying 'How can I help?' instead of 'How can I help you?' And just like that old debate over soda or pop (by the way, it's soda in NY); these things get on my nerves but I've gotten used to them. A yard sale in Ohio is a tag sale in NY, a pitch-in in Indiana is a covered dish supper in NY, a visitation in the Midwest is a wake in NY. I almost don't hear Erich dropping his h's anymore. He says 'uge' instead of 'huge' and 'unt' instead of hunt.

Of course, I have my own ways of saying things. I say 'hamburg' instead of 'hamburger'. 'The City' refers to New York City. A small river like thing is a brook, not a crick. People are often surprised to learn I'm from New York, because I don't have a New York accent. By that they mean I don't tell you 'lets meet for cawfee and tawlk'. I'm not a New Yawker, I'm a New Yorker. I pronounce Long Island without a heavy phlegm on the g. However, I can pronounce Schoharie, Schenectady, and Schaghticoke (skat i coke). New York state is full of bizarre names that are as hard to pronounce as they are to spell, thanks to our Dutch and Native American roots.

Erich does most of our grocery shopping. Last week, I put hamburg rolls on the list. He told me that night that he had a heck of a time figuring out what I meant. He didn't know if I meant hamburger buns or kaiser rolls. He bought buns- the things that come in a package of 8. I told him that's what I meant- hamburg rolls. I explained if I wanted kaiser rolls I would have written hard rolls. Which confused him even further.

Last night, I decided we would just have hot dogs and cheesy fries for dinner. Ok, not the healthiest meal, but it was easy. We were out of the steak fries we usually use for the cheesy fries, so I put 'french fries' on the grocery list. And that is what he bought. A package of french fries- similar in size and shape to what you get at any fast food restaurant. When I wrote french fries, I was thinking of steak fries, and figured he would buy those because that is what we always buy. But he saw french fries and thought 'what the heck does she want those for?' and proceeded to buy french fries. Oh, we still have so far to go....

No matter how long I live here, there is one word I will never get used to. That is Ma'am. When I am talking to people at work who are from the South or Midwest, they refer to me as 'Ma'am'. Most of these people are much older than I am. We don't use Ma'am in New York. As far as I can tell, it's just a filler. Instead of saying 'Yes', people say 'Yes, Ma'am'. In New York, we just say 'Yes'. Or maybe 'Yes, Mrs. Smith'. I really wish people wouldn't call me Ma'am. I don't like the word. I just don't know how to ask them to stop!