Black Friday

The TV commercials are yelling Black Friday ads. The stores are competing with each other to get the early birds. Target opens at 4am. Kohls at 3am. Walmart at midnight, but the good buys on electronics starts at 5am. A local outlet mall is opening at midnight. The first couple hundred people through the door wearing pajamas get an extra bonus. It's insane.

Black Friday seems to get worse every year. At first I thought I was just getting old and cranky, and then I realized when I worked at JCPenney, we opened at 7am. It was the earliest all year that we opened. I left JCPenney in 2002. So only 8 years ago, things were not as crazy. Sure, when I arrived a little before 6am to open (the jewelry department goes in an hour earlier than other departments), I had to fight my way through the line of people who had been standing outside for hours. I had to show my name badge so they didn't think I was cutting in line. One year we offered a free 'gift with purchase'. It was a Disney snow globe. Each store had a certain quantity, and when they were gone, that was it. The ad made the snow globes look like they had a 10" diameter. In reality, they were only about 2" each. Yet people still fought over them like they were gold nuggets.

I don't do Black Friday. I will look at the ads, which now thanks to all of the 'sneak peak' websites, I don't even have to get the paper. And I may see something that I really want. Then I consider the price and aggravation, and decide it isn't worth it. I did go out in 2006. Kohls had Cabbage Patch Kids 55% off. I had a new niece, and thought 'who's going to go to Kohls for Cabbage Patch Kids?' Answer: Everyone who wanted one. I was in line half an hour before the store opened, and at that point the line was still on the front of the store, it had not yet curved around the building. I went straight to the toy department, and there were no Cabbage Patch Kids to be found. Erich had dropped me off and gone to Staples, so I ended up doing some shopping. I found a nice sweatshirt for my brother in law in the Men's department, and had to walk to the back of the store to housewares to the end of the line. I spent the next hour winding my way back through the men's department to the registers. That's when I decided I had better things to do at 6am. Like sleep.

Maybe my aversion to Black Friday comes from my Mom. Mom shops year round for gifts. By Black Friday, she was usually done. We hardly ever went to the mall during the Christmas shopping season. Unless we were taking Grandma Primeau shopping. Grandma doesn't start her shopping until Black Friday. She would call Mom a few days before and ask if Mom would take her shopping. Even before she gave up driving, Grandma wouldn't drive many places. And Grandpa knew how she shops, so he wouldn't take her. We went to Berkshire Mall, about 25 minutes away from Mom's house. Since it's in Massachusetts, there is no sales tax on clothing, and anything else was only 4% (a real bargain compared to the 7% NY had at the time). Our shopping expedition would get bigger, until we could no longer fit in a car. Some of Dad's sisters or sister-in-laws would join us. We had a little caravan of station wagons and minivans. I remember we were never at the mall before 8. We usually planned to be there when they opened, but I still think that was 8am. So 20 years ago, Black Friday was more of a normal shopping day.

Christmas shopping with Grandma is an exercise in patience. Grandma has 8 kids, 15 grandchildren, and now 12 great-grandchildren, plus spouses. Her list is enormous. Until very recently, she bought gifts for everyone. I still don't know how she did it. The cost alone baffles me. The year I remember I was about 11. So it was just her children, their spouses, and the 15 grandchildren to buy for. The oldest grandchild was 16, the youngest a baby. Grandma wrote out her list, asking each person what they wanted. And then we set out to cross things off the list.

For some reason, when we got to the mall, no one would go with Grandma. So I went with her. We went to Hill's first, and she pulled out her list. Terri (my oldest cousin) wanted footie pajamas. She was 16, so that meant looking in the juniors or misses department. Hill's had pink or purple. Terri wasn't a pink or purple person. Grandma decided we would go down to Sears- the complete opposite end of the mall. I asked her who was next on the list, thinking we would get as many gifts as we could in one store before moving to the next store. That is not how Grandma shops. She cannot move onto the next person on the list until she has the first person crossed off. Off we went to Sears, and they didn't have what we needed. Then we stopped at JC Penney's. I don't remember what was wrong with the pajamas there, but we ended up back at Hills. Around 10am, Grandma had Terri done. I was dragging. Grandma looked at her list and said 'Now, Beth wants....' and we were off again. When we met up with the rest of the family in the food court for lunch, I dropped into a chair. I didn't think I would be able to get up again. I begged my sister to trade with me, and let me shop with Mom. I had criss-crossed the mall with Grandma more times than I could count. In four hours, she had two presents. Laura went with her that afternoon, and I spent a peaceful afternoon with Mom, carrying winter coats and bags.

Grandma's birthday is in November, and hers and Grandpa's anniversary is the 27th of November. Grandpa frequently gave her money to get herself something, so after she made a dent in her list, she started looking for something for herself. She would want everyone's opinion on the item, and then still might not buy it. When we arrived home at night, all of us were so worn out we couldn't think. Dad wondered why we were so tired, and Mom told him what it was like shopping with Grandma. Then Dad laughed and said, I know what she's like, why do you think I don't go. For the same reason Grandpa wouldn't go with her- because she tries your patience. I love my Grandmother, don't get me wrong. I just hate shopping with her.

Or perhaps I don't like Black Friday because I spent so many years in retail. The pushing, the shoving, the yelling. People buying crap they otherwise wouldn't buy, just because it's cheap. I know that's cynical, but there was always a special in the jewelry department that made you shake your head. Lower quality diamonds, or something very ugly. Corporate would put a really great price on it, and we'd sell out of it quickly. Even though I am not a morning person, I always volunteered to take the very early shifts. This way, I could leave the headache around 2pm and go home, rather than walk into the headache. Because the headache only gets worse as the day goes on.

I guess I could understand the desire to stand in line for hours in the early morning if we lived in Arizona or Hawaii, someplace with a moderate or tropical climate. I don't understand it for those of us who live in the Northeast or Midwest--where the chances are good you'll be standing in below freezing temperatures, wrapped up like Nanook of the North, and still freezing your tush off. But when you add the temperatures to the crowds, it really isn't worth it for me.

So this Friday while the 'smart shoppers' are teamed up, one at Kohls at 3am to get sweaters, one at Target at 4am to get Zhu Zhu pets, and another is in line for the 5am electronics at Walmart; I will be in bed. I will be snuggled in layers of warm blankets, surrounded by soft pillows. I will sleep until my body tells me to wake up. No alarms, as it's a day off from work. And I know I've got the best deal!