Lately I have been feeling a bit bored. Not just the withdrawal I've felt in the past couple of weeks while the Yankees were on a west coast swing (and therefore on too late at night for me to watch). It's not any particular moment- it's just an overall general feeling. My life is boring.
I usually talk to my parents on Sunday nights (as well as other times during the week). My mom always asks what I did that weekend. And for several months, my answer has been the same. It varies if, for instance, I had a hair appointment and had the color screwed up so that I left the salon with hair that was three colors. Otherwise, it is pretty much 'nothing interesting'. While sometimes I am able to blame the fibro, most of the time we haven't done anything on the weekend. Anything outside the house/yard that is.
I realized just how dull my life has become this past week. When talking to mom, the highlight of my weekend had been cleaning out the refrigerator! I finally told my mom that my life is pretty dull because money is tight in the house, so we don't go out.
Our household income has been cut by at least 50% in the past eighteen months. Possibly more than that. So we have had to cut back. Not that we were out partying all weekend before this! Before the recession, we led what others might consider dull lives. Neither of us are party animals. We each prefer the quiet and comfort of our own house to a crowded bar or restaurant. We don't go to amusement parks. I was the only one who travelled. Erich likes to see different places, but doesn't like to endure the travel part. The movies had already gotten so expensive that we were only going maybe once a year.
But we did things. Probably our biggest attraction was a book store. We are both book worms, and we can spend an afternoon in a book store. We would go at least once a month. When Books & Co had their semi-annual sale, we would mark the calendar and plan a day of it. Lunch out, the bookstore, maybe other shopping. Last week, we received the post card for this years sale, and we looked at it wistfully, and then threw it away. There was no discussion about going. We knew we couldn't.
We used to eat out a lot. I don't like cooking. I only cook to survive, as I may have mentioned in a previous post or two. Thursday night was always takeout night. We are lucky in Middletown- we have a lot of restaurants. Applebees, Olive Garden, Bob Evans, etc. Thursdays are the roughest days for me- I get through three days of work and by Thursday, I am dragging myself out the door, giving myself a pep talk to get through til lunch, and then to survive the afternoon until quitting time. (Today was no different, I was giving myself motivating talks all morning). So Thursday was always take out night. If there were other nights we didn't feel like cooking, or I hadn't taken anything out of the freezer, we'd just do take-out. Whenever we went shopping on the weekend, even grocery shopping, we had lunch (or an early dinner) out.
Eating out was one of the first things we cut. First we made a conscious decision to cut back to only doing take out or eating out once a week. Then we started cutting back when we were out. Why stop and get a sub when we have cold cuts at home? Things like that. Now we are down to maybe eating out or doing take out just a couple of times a month, and sometimes not even that. If we can't agree on what to fix for dinner, or I didn't take anything out, we scrounge. Which for me means fixing a cheese quesidilla, or a grilled cheese. Erich will eat canned soup or beans.
We have said we would like to go explore a couple of neighboring towns. They have quaint old areas with terrific architecture and neat little shops. And we will do that, but not when it's hot, as I don't function well in the heat. We can window shop if nothing else.
I don't really look at the newspaper any more to find things happening that weekend. We look for inexpensive things that we enjoy. Sitting by the fire on our patio. It's free thanks to Hurricane Ike which destroyed our cherry tree in 2008, and left us with a supply of wood that will last for years. It is relaxing too.
We both read. A lot. I'm knitting more and more, because I have extra time. In a couple of weeks we will go to the Balloon Festival, weather permitting. It is $5 per car to park, and you can take in your own food and watch the balloons. It's one of the neat things about living in Middletown. I want to go to the Cincinnati Zoo to see the Komodo Dragon. It is now a permanent exhibit, so we know if we don't get there this year, it will wait.
I am grateful it is just our entertainment we have had to cut. We still have a roof over our head, food in the freezers and pantry, and the utilities haven't been shut off. So things are not dire. But they are the worst they have been for Erich and I in the 10 years we've lived here. It's hard to stay upbeat. Erich gets more down about it than I do, but then again it is primarily his salary that has taken the hit. I just get a little blue when I think of another weekend of doing nothing other than laundry, watching tv, and knitting. It has become routine. I feel like those old married couples who never do anything fun any more. I know quiet weekends are great, but I feel like every weekend of my life lately is a quiet weekend. I long for SOMETHING. Not the excitement of having purple, orange, and brown hair; but something different.
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