Sock Thief

From the time she was a tiny puppy weighing just a few pounds, Onyx has liked socks. Her preference is for dirty socks, which smell like her humans. If the opportunity presents itself, she will not turn down a clean sock. Almost every time you come into the room, she brings you an offering. Usually it is one of her toys. For a while she brought rocks from the yard. Thankfully it has never (knock on wood) been a dead critter. But the ultimate offering is a dirty sock. If she greets you with a dirty sock hanging from her mouth, you know you are one of her favorite people.

Not all socks are created equal. Erich's socks are the most common. This is because Erich takes off his shoes & socks wherever he feels like it. I wouldn't mind this if he picked up his socks. In the ten years we've shared a house, I've gotten him to the point that he piles the socks in one area. I guess this is an improvement over scattering the socks throughout the house. Maybe in another 10 years I'll have him trained to pick up the socks and get them into the hamper or laundry basket. Or maybe not.

Onyx is very helpful with the socks. She picks them up for me, but doesn't really get them to the laundry basket either. She carries them around, buries them in her toy box or under her bed, or takes them outside and buries them in the yard or sand pit. At least I don't see them all over the house!

Erich also perpetuated Onyx's sock love by training her to pull socks off your feet. Unsuspecting guests (such as my parents) have tried to take off their socks in the presence of Onyx, and yelp in pain as she attacks their feet. She gets this twinkle in her eye, and she pounces onto the foot. She grabs the sock in her teeth and with a performance worthy of a Puppy Emmy, she tugs and tugs and pulls the sock free. Then she bounds off happily with her treasure. Sometimes, in her excitement she nips your toes or scratches your foot to pieces. If you know it's coming, you can prepare by having the sock mostly off your foot, so she only has to grab the end and run. This makes it a painless experience. But if she catches you off guard, it's not so cute.

She gets access to my socks a little less frequently than she does Erich's'. I usually remember to pick them up. Still, she will come upstairs when I get home from work. I come home and change into lounge clothes or pjs. Onyx follows me, knowing this is a good chance to score some socks. If I get distracted talking to Erich, my socks disappear. She will go back up in the evening, when I'm relaxed on the couch. She's hoping I left a pair of socks on my bedroom floor. Sometimes, she gets lucky. If you catch her stealing socks, she will look at you with this sweet, innocent look, while the sock (or socks) are hanging from her mouth. Then she gives a little head toss and a snort, and takes off downstairs. If she has my socks, she sits down on the couch or the floor and just licks them adoringly. Maybe she is acknowledging that I truly am the Alpha Dog and even my socks must be worshipped?

Without a doubt, Onyx's favorite socks belong to my dad. My parents come to visit once or twice a year. Dad puts his clothes out for the next day before he goes to bed. I give my parents my room, and I sleep on an air mattress downstairs in the living room. My parents go to sleep earlier than I do. They leave the bedroom door open because Cobalt likes to sleep with them. Once everyone is asleep, Onyx goes upstairs. She clears the stairs like a dog on a mission. She slips into my parents room, and in a minute or two, she comes speeding down the stairs as if she's being chased. I am usually a very light sleeper, and once I hear her go upstairs, I know what she is doing. When she comes back down, she puts her treasure on the couch and curls up with it. I tell her that she's going to be in trouble, but she just snuggles with my dad's socks.

Dad is usually the first person up in the morning, way before the sun. He gets up and reaches for his socks and slippers, and then I hear him say 'You little thief!'. He comes down the stairs, trying but failing to be quiet and not wake anyone else. The whole time he is muttering about a thief. Onyx hears him coming, and sits on the couch, his socks under her paws, wagging her tail. The funniest part is Dad is 6'3" and he's chasing this 13" beagle because she has his socks. When Dad sits on the couch to put his socks on, Onyx climbs into his lap and he pets her. She is happy because she's being adored, and Dad is happy because at least his socks aren't wet with doggy drool. The next night Dad might put his socks a little higher, but Onyx still finds them. I know she enjoys the game, and I think he does too.

And while I'm not a morning person, it's a hilarious way to wake up!